Goodbye Dad
Bryan Ames Finlayson
4th March 1927 – 6th July 2021
My dear Dad died last week. This is the eulogy that I read at his funeral, along with the photos that were on the order of service.
*****
It’s a challenge to sum up a full 94 year old life. Where do you start? Fortunately for all of us, Bryan wrote his own life story for a Probus meeting back in 2004. So this first part of his story is in his words.
Many Australian families originated in Europe. Mine was no different. In the mid 1800s my grandfather and several siblings travelled from England, coming out in that fast sailing clipper the Cutty Sark.
My grandfather and his brothers were all engineers and set up a foundry and machinery building works in Devonport, Tasmania. This business lasted almost 100 years, building everything from bicycles, cars and buses to saw mills and stone crushers. The business also required my grandfather to travel to Western Australia to help with the building of the water pipeline from Perth to Kalgoorlie, using specialised equipment made in the foundry.
He then left Tasmania with his wife and son and joined a quarrying company in Victoria. His son – my father Rex – completed his pattern making training upon his return from WW1, married my mother Amy, and also started quarrying. They moved around Victoria getting small contracts. Three sons were born – I am the youngest. I can well remember the family living in tents in several localities.
My father won a contract to supply stone from a quarry in Dookie to the shire crusher that was situated over the rail line. My schooling started in Dookie then on to Shepparton when the family moved into town.
By now my father’s work was mostly in the Wimmera and our family shifted to Horsham, where I finished school and started work in the quarry. My first job was to operate a winch pulling stone up to the crusher. This time was during the war, where equipment was hard to obtain, forcing us to use our own resources to build much of it ourselves. We bought Grant and Stewart tanks from the army at Bandiana and converted them into bulldozers. Since they were too big to fit into the yard we worked on them out on the nature strip with the welding wires running across the footpath! My eldest brother Doug had returned from World War 2 and after building these bulldozers spent some years on clearing and earthmoving.
After a short time in the quarry, I thought that I needed something different, so went to Melbourne, walked around the factories and got an apprenticeship fitting and turning. However, after a couple of years my father asked if I would come back to help set up and look after a small quarry contract near Donald, which I did. This was followed by a contract at Kaniva. After this I began working with the CRB with my second brother Don using our truck and loader around Sea Lake, Hopetoun and further on up the Calder Highway. I remember this period working in the Mallee during 1944 and 45 very well. Dust storms, dry dams and cattle bones. We were living in a home-made hut on wheels, with a 44 gallon drum of water to last a fortnight, a Coolgardie safe and water bags.
A trip to an army disposal sale in Darwin in 1948 resulted in us buying two small army trucks for use in the quarry and for clearing operations. Don and I drove the trucks back to Horsham ourselves. Roads weren’t what they are today, and this was quite an adventure for a 21 year old.
Then in the mid 1950s my father started a blue stone quarry at Cosgrove. This eventually led to me returning to Shepparton to run this quarry. I boarded in town in a house where the present Coles-Kmart car park is.
Sport – I was not much good at organised sport! I was away with the fairies too much; always going somewhere. Reading books by and about explorers and collecting old maps – especially ones with vacant spaces with only dotted lines or no lines crossing large areas.
My parents had a small holiday place below Jamieson where I met the forestry ranger. Then with forestry maps and others I bought, and using the house as a base, I spent a lot of time roaming the mountains. Just using a ute was a bit restrictive so I built a specialised buggy that was able to cope with more difficult terrain and could carry a swag and a tucker box.
This led on to trips inland. Birdsville in 1951, the top of Cape York by Falcon ute in 1961. This desert travel has a few problems – punctures mostly, four in half an hour. I once broke some front springs but was only carrying back ones which wouldn’t fit so had to light a fire and do some blacksmithing.
Then for 5 months I went a bit further – to North America, Mexico, Panama, Columbia, Bolivia, Peru, Brazil, Argentina then back to Utah, North America for a 5 day trip down the Colorado River. This done I slipped home through Europe.
Then it happened – what a revelation! I met this young nurse from Mansfield, courted around the hills, and married in ten months. None of this 2 or 3 years business! I think it was 1966. We built our house on two blocks at Kialla where we are still living today. Lara was born in 1968, followed by Ross in 1969.
Holiday trips have now run the usual cycle from tents to caravans to cabins. You can buy vehicles today with an electronic navigating device, but they can’t compare to the one I married. Alison is a marvellous navigator, none of this turning the map around, and if she’s been there 20 years before she will still be able to tell me where to go. Especially the time we were stuck on the biggest sandhill in the Simpson Desert!
I continued working with my brothers until we all retired and sold the family business. I felt a bit lost after early retirement, especially after having a hands-on occupation where I was used to working with mechanical equipment. I thought about restoring vehicles but had had enough of greasy hands and leaking oxy cylinders, so in 1987 I decided to join the Wood Club which had just been formed. I had some lessons at TAFE plus a few hours over at Frank’s, bought a lathe, bandsaw and some hand tools, and started making shavings. I palmed a lot of the early stuff off to rellies but then spent considerable time with Lindsay making furniture. This experience inspired me to get fair dinkum, but I needed more room! So I pumped the water out, filled in and put a roof over the pool. I built a band saw mill to cut up logs, bought some blackwood and made furniture for our house and both the kids. Now, as many of you know, I fill in my time with woodwork and planning the next trip.
There is always a road somewhere!
In the seventeen years since Bryan wrote these words he and Mum travelled to Africa as well as taking regular trips to Cairns to visit Ross and Donna. They visited many of the places commonly frequented by grey nomads. Bryan actually drove until he was 90. Many of his desert trips were shared with his brother Don, who was also a frequent visitor to our house. The three Finlayson brothers – Doug, Don and Bryan – had some common characteristics. They were tough and stoic men, and were always comfortable in one another’s company. They could all turn a hand to anything requiring some engineering and ingenuity. Bryan modified many things to better suit his intended purpose – with function sometimes coming before form!
Upon marrying Alison, Bryan was warmly welcomed into the extended Harper family. There are many happy memories of time spent on John and Louise’s farms, helping out in the shearing shed, and enjoying regular Easter gatherings.
Bryan was interested in many things – the world around him, politics, the weather, and the early European exploration of Australia. He read the newspaper from the front page to the back, and there was always a book or two beside his chair. He liked geography, and made sure that his children then grandchildren knew the height of Mount Everest. Bryan never liked to make a fuss, and small talk definitely wasn’t his thing. He did however greatly enjoy conversations with people who enjoyed common interests. Bryan was very trustworthy and someone that you could always rely on. If he said that he was going to do something, he did it.
Bryan’s passion in his post-retirement years – which were a lot of years! – was the Goulburn Valley Woodturners Club. I suspect that many of you have at least one piece of Bryan’s work in your homes. Being a Woodie was a full-time occupation for Bryan. He was either out in one of his sheds working with wood, out collecting timber and milling it, or at the Woodturner’s Club enjoying the friendship of those who shared his interest. Alison was often a little embarrassed when they were out and Bryan would look under furniture to check out how well it had been constructed. We would like to give a particular thankyou to Lindsay Whitfort who generously shared his knowledge with Bryan and developed an enduring friendship.
Alongside Alison, Bryan was one of the founding members of the South Shepparton Probus Club. They shared in many trips and social outings and enjoyed new friendships. Bryan always enjoyed the guest speakers, especially if it was someone who knew how to speak into a microphone properly!
My head and my heart are full of memories of my dad. I remember him getting home after a day’s work at the quarry, bringing in the lunchbox that Mum had packed for him in the morning. I remember hiding behind his chair when we watched Doctor Who on telly. I remember him teaching us to swim, and I remember going on bike rides in daylight savings evenings. I remember the many driving and camping holidays that we took around the country. I remember him teaching me basic car mechanics so that I could change the tyres and replace the points and prime the engine. I remember how he’d stop activities like clockwork to come in for meals and tea breaks. I especially remember how our relationship matured into an adult one when I lived with Mum and Dad for a few years in my early 20s. I remember the pride on Dad’s face when he walked me down the aisle, and his determination and courage to make a speech at the wedding.
I always felt that Dad supported me unconditionally. Even when he didn’t really understand just what my work entailed, he was proud of it. He was fascinated by the details of the family holidays that Dan and I took with the girls over recent years, despite his concerns about us taking them to such far-flung places! I know that he always read my recaps of each day’s travel. Dad wasn’t a demonstrative man, but he didn’t need to be. His love and care for us was evident in his interest in us, his acts of service, and the smile on his face.
Bryan loved watching his granddaughters grow up. He didn’t really ever expect to be a grandfather, let alone to be alive until Clare finished school and started university, and Stella reached 14. He was always keen to hear what they were up to both at school and in extra-curricular activities.
Their memories of their Pa include being pushed around the house in a home-made buggy, and riding around and around the house on the pathway that Pa smoothed out for them while he counted the number of circuits. They remember Pa snoozing in his armchair while watching TV with the teletext on, his insistence that they learn how to do side-stroke, and him telling them that drinking too much water is bad for them. They remember Pa sitting on the back veranda watching the birds in the trees and the birdbath, and wandering around the garden sweeping up the bark, keeping the things around him tidy. They will always remember Pa grabbing them for a hug and a soft smack on the bottom to send them off to bed.
(This paragraph ready by Dan) During the years I have known Bryan, he has provided me with support and love. He has also provided me with a great example of how to live a fulfilling life. I am grateful for the values he instilled in his daughter. For Bryan, the journey was always more important than the destination, and he is now on his last great adventure. No vehicles, maps, GPS or petrol dumps required for this one. He will be guided by his spirit, as he has been in life.
Bryan was very ready to say goodbye to us once his hearing loss and failing eyesight meant that he could no longer do the things that he wanted to do, or participate in life in the way that he wished. He had a long and mostly healthy life, and was fortunate to remain at home and be relatively independent right up until this final illness, which he faced with his usual pragmatism. We are very appreciative of all the care and love that Alison has given Bryan, especially in the last couple of years. As he said only nine days ago, ‘she’s bloody marvellous’! Bryan will always be remembered with great love.
What a wonderful eulogy, and your Dad sounds like he led an amazing, adventurous and fulfilling life.
I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing that with us . I think that you have an amazing family , and I am glad that your children got to know their grandfather.
A magnificent tribute Lara. What an interesting life.
Oh my … I am heartbroken for you. Prayers and blessings for your dear family! You had a really wonderful father!
How very lovely of you to share this. Thank you.
This is an absolutely beautiful tribute to a much loved dad – and that last picture is wonderful, just wonderful. Thank you for sharing this Lara.
A loving tribute from a grateful daughter . You have so much to be thankful for.
Dear Lara, Thanks very much for such a wonderful eulogy. Your father sounds like an interesting (and interested), caring and hard-working person. The story of his early life really gave the flavour of those times. I’m sure he left a large gap in all your lives, but also lovely memories to remember him by.
Thanks also for your blog, which is always interesting and spurs me on sewing-wise.
He was a wonderful father I am sure. You and your family were blessed. Thoughts and prayers to you.
What lovely memories of your dad! Thanks for sharing your eulogy and for allowing us a glimpse into his very full life. Thoughts and prayers to you and your loved ones.
Thank you dear Lara for allowing me to get to know Bryan more deeply. What a man , what a life. So rich so full. You pulled on my heartstrings with the mention of an apprenticeship as a fitter and turner….my own Dad was a 1923 baby and did his fitter and tuner apprenticeship at Fisherman’s Bend. Much love to you as you mourn your darling Dad.
Thank you for sharing your lovely eulogy for your Dad. My sympathies on your loss. I loved reading your family history and also the love that is quite evident. A life well lived.
Abbey
That is such a lovely tribute to your father.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
What a wonderful remembrance. Wishing you and your family peace and comfort.
Such a lovely eulogy. Thank you for sharing. You will
have great memories.
I’m very sorry for your loss, Lara.
Dear Kara losing your dad us such a big one .you did him proud with this eulogy . He sounds like a really quality human being . Thankyou for sharing with us
I’m so sorry Lara and thank you for sharing his life.
What a fascinating life and fascinating man. Thank you for sharing these stories. May your memories console you and your family.
Very sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was an amazing person. It’s amazing how much of your eldest is in his face in that picture.
Your dad sounds like such an interesting and loving man. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I am so sorry to read of your loss.. It is never easy when someone we love dies. Prayers for you and the family. It looks like he will be sorely missed but what great memories you have to comfort you.
What a beautiful life! Sending you sympathy and warm thoughts. XO
sorry for your loss and so interesting to read.
My condolences to you and your family. Your Dad sounds lovely and you delivered a beautiful tribute to him.
So sorry for your loss. You must all feel so fortunate to have had him in your lives. Take good care.
What a lovely tribute. And such a full life. How proud he must have been of you all. Sincere sympathy to you and your family, Lara.
What a beautiful tribute to your father, Lara. I so enjoyed the story of his life. They really were different times, and it seems he embraced them all!
Dear Lara, my friend whom I only know thru Instagram…..I loved reading about your Dad…..what a wonderful ordinary life he had, special in every way to those who personally knew and loved him.
Thank you for letting us in…..my Dad was special too, along with his Dad, my Granddad…….just feel a warm glow from what I read and my own memories. Laura Casey, USA
it certainly sounds like your father lived his life as an adventure & although I’m sure you’ll miss him what wonderful memories he created for you. Thank you for sharing; I enjoyed reading about him.
What a beautiful tribute. RIP.
What an amazing, full and adventurous life your Dad had and how lucky to have him for so long. A lovely eulogy.
Such a lovely tribute to your Dad! He was much loved and also loved much – and I am sure he will be missed by your family!
Dear Lara, so sorry to read about your loss. Sincere sympathy for you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss.
A beautiful eulogy for a dear dad. Thank you for sharing with us.
Beautiful tribute to your Dad. I enjoyed reading about his life. Thank you for sharing
A life very well lived, thank you for sharing, condolences to all your family. Angela
What a wonderful eulogy for your beloved Dad Lara. The stories of driving around Australia & roadside repairs remind me of the adventures of my Dad and his brothers. Gorgeous photo of “ the shed” – I know my boys’ main memories of their Grandpa are of times spent together in the shed! Love and hugs to you and your family.
What a loving and insightful eulogy! I am sure your father will be missed and his memories are treasured.
What lovely memories. I’m so sorry for your loss
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your Dad who truly seemed special; the photo at the end brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this lovely tribute to a life well lived. I was also not in the least surprised that you have many engineers in your lineage!
Reading about your fathers life reminded me so much of my own father right down to the workshop crafted from the swimming pool. No doubt you will treasure the items he has made for many years to come.
Beautiful words about an obviously wonderful man. Sorry it’s taken me this long to read and comment lovely. Xx
I am so sorry for such a great loss in your life. 🕊