miscellaneous, musings

on friends

My best blog posts are the ones I write in my head when I’m lying in bed at night.  Erudite, witty, thoughtful, insightful.  Then I go to sleep and the next morning I am launched straight back into the minutae of everyday life and those blog posts never get written.

One of the downsides of working full-time is that I don’t have enough time to develop friendships.  Through blogging I have met some wonderful people I’d really like to get to know better.  People who inspire me and intrigue me; who are generous, talented and have new ways of looking at things.  I really, really wish that I had more time to spend with these people.  Time to explore ideas and really get to know them more.  Whether that be through leaving comments on their blogs, corresponding via email, or spending time with them in person.

My weekday routine?  Up at 6am, leave for work at 7am.  Home at around 5.30pm.  Then we launch into dinner (thankfully my husband cooks it), baths, books, interspersed with opening the mail, checking my email and a rapid skim of google reader, addressing issues of the day, folding washing, tidying up, some bookwork, etc.  Stella is in bed at around 7.30 to 8pm, Clare between 8.30 and 9.00pm.  And I try to be in bed by around 10.00pm.  Time is at a premium.  And somewhere in there I need to connect with my husband, and connect with myself – do some crochet, some sewing, some blogging, some reading.  Sometimes some ironing.  And I’m probably out one or sometime two evenings each week.

I know that this is nothing new for most of you.  Many of you live this every day, and busier.  But I liked it better when paid work was two week days.  And on the other three days I could connect a little with friends, in between school drop off and pick up – actually, I could connect with many friends at school drop off and pick up.  Stella and I had some regular “dates” with dear friends that aren’t happening now.  I am missing my friends, both old and new.  Maintaining friendships and relationships does take time.  I’m feeling very out of the loop.

I know that things will change – they always do.  And I know that my old friends have hung around long enough now to still be with me when I emerge on the other side.  I hope that my new friends have the patience with me to still be there too, and that I haven’t missed the boat with the fledgling friendships I haven’t been able to follow up the way I’d have liked.

One of the reasons I am so looking forward to Sewjourn in a couple of weeks time is that opportunity to spend uninterrupted time with friends.  I no longer feel consumed with guilt when I go on one of my four per annum weekends away – I know that it recharges my batteries and my soul, and helps me to connect better with my family when I return.  And my family have fun without me – I think that this time they are off to visit my parents!  But on other weekends I am loathe to spend too much time away from my family, because I see so little of them during the week.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not actually trying to whinge or complain here.  This is how life is.  I am a very lucky person who in many ways has a blessed life.  I am constantly thankful for the many good things that are part of it.  Every day I thank God for my healthy, happy children.  I have a job that I enjoy and a husband I love.  Pretty good hey?  But my friends, I do miss you.  I just wanted you to know that.