on friends
My best blog posts are the ones I write in my head when I’m lying in bed at night. Erudite, witty, thoughtful, insightful. Then I go to sleep and the next morning I am launched straight back into the minutae of everyday life and those blog posts never get written.
One of the downsides of working full-time is that I don’t have enough time to develop friendships. Through blogging I have met some wonderful people I’d really like to get to know better. People who inspire me and intrigue me; who are generous, talented and have new ways of looking at things. I really, really wish that I had more time to spend with these people. Time to explore ideas and really get to know them more. Whether that be through leaving comments on their blogs, corresponding via email, or spending time with them in person.
My weekday routine? Up at 6am, leave for work at 7am. Home at around 5.30pm. Then we launch into dinner (thankfully my husband cooks it), baths, books, interspersed with opening the mail, checking my email and a rapid skim of google reader, addressing issues of the day, folding washing, tidying up, some bookwork, etc. Stella is in bed at around 7.30 to 8pm, Clare between 8.30 and 9.00pm. And I try to be in bed by around 10.00pm. Time is at a premium. And somewhere in there I need to connect with my husband, and connect with myself – do some crochet, some sewing, some blogging, some reading. Sometimes some ironing. And I’m probably out one or sometime two evenings each week.
I know that this is nothing new for most of you. Many of you live this every day, and busier. But I liked it better when paid work was two week days. And on the other three days I could connect a little with friends, in between school drop off and pick up – actually, I could connect with many friends at school drop off and pick up. Stella and I had some regular “dates” with dear friends that aren’t happening now. I am missing my friends, both old and new. Maintaining friendships and relationships does take time. I’m feeling very out of the loop.
I know that things will change – they always do. And I know that my old friends have hung around long enough now to still be with me when I emerge on the other side. I hope that my new friends have the patience with me to still be there too, and that I haven’t missed the boat with the fledgling friendships I haven’t been able to follow up the way I’d have liked.
One of the reasons I am so looking forward to Sewjourn in a couple of weeks time is that opportunity to spend uninterrupted time with friends. I no longer feel consumed with guilt when I go on one of my four per annum weekends away – I know that it recharges my batteries and my soul, and helps me to connect better with my family when I return. And my family have fun without me – I think that this time they are off to visit my parents! But on other weekends I am loathe to spend too much time away from my family, because I see so little of them during the week.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not actually trying to whinge or complain here. This is how life is. I am a very lucky person who in many ways has a blessed life. I am constantly thankful for the many good things that are part of it. Every day I thank God for my healthy, happy children. I have a job that I enjoy and a husband I love. Pretty good hey? But my friends, I do miss you. I just wanted you to know that.
Such an eloquent and beautiful post Lara. I’ll be around when you resurface my friend. No worries there. xxx
I’m amazed at the amount of crafting you fit in, you must be very organised!
Looking forward to Sewjourn – I’m sure we’ve met before
I should give the ironing a miss. It makes life so much better if you do! Happy sewjourning when you get there. I think you are doing amzingly in your life. Cherrie
I’ve missed you! I’m confident it’ll be just as if I saw you yesterday. x
I really love htis post. I have a few lovely friends I connect with over the phone, but in person is rare. I love blogs for that reason, love to get a look into someone elses creative life when time permits. Have a wonderful time with your friends and don’t feel guilty at all. Your family will be fine without you for a couple of days, and you will be re-charged.
Meredith
This is a great post. I’m in awe that you get so much crochet done given your daily schedule! My excuse for never finishing anything is full time work (although as of this week I’m on maternity leave!!).
I know what you mean about writing great blog posts in your head – I write a lot of them and perhaps one a month actually makes it to my blog – you do much, much better than that!
So true Lara, but you’re not alone & everyone will still be around when you have time to catch up.
I find the work/home/friends juggle really hard, especially after not working for almost 6 years- I didn’t realise how lucky I was to have all that time!
x
I understand your post exactly! My days are crazy and silly me thought it would be easier with all the kids off at school. Can’t wait to see you in .. just over a week!
I love the wonderful things you send me from your blog entries, and I do so look forward to them when I finish my exhausting day! I believe it motivates me to continue my herky jerky starts and stops on many of my projects!
Although I am not in your vacinity or even your continent!
I consider you in my circle of inspired friends!
Continue on my dear, you are an inspiration to us all!
I so get this Lara. There are moments when rushing around getting everything ‘done’ means you feel like no real connections are made. I know too, that things will change when the girls hit school next year, but it is tricky.
Make sure you take the time for you.
Thanks for the post. I rarely comment here (if ever), I am not a sew-er (yet), I live on another continent in another hemisphere, and I am past the child-rearing years, AND I love your daily missives. You’re doing great!
Yep. Yep. Yep. That’s my life, too….only I ignore the ironing.
Friendships endure, and you’re a keeper, for sure. Hold tight, lovey.. and we’ll enjoy the catch-up at Sewjourn!
xxxx
Yes, this is how life is. How well I remember, well, it was only last week sans the small children. This week is different, DH and I are retired and the youngest graduated from the University. Whew, where did that time go.
You do what you can, with your family and your friends. And your true friends will be there when you got more time, too. Actually I think you’ve got the balancing act pretty well down.
your bloggy friend.
I’m with you Lara – so much so that I just read your post now having not even had the time to catch up on some blog reading in the past month or so. And even though I wouldn’t change things because I too live a very blessed life that I’m thankful for but it’s frustrating not being able to join in with things that would be so much fun with people who are amazingly creative. For what it’s worth I’m in awe of the amount of sewing/creating you manage to achieve……just make sure it’s quality time you spend with friends and one day the quantity will increase again!